When I first started my journey of self-development back in 2017, I was at my lowest point, rock bottom. I knew some decisions had to be made. I was about three to five days away from losing everything I loved and cherished in my life. It was at that moment I knew something had to change and things could not continue as they were. 

The first coach and mentor I hired was Bob Proctor, you know, the old guy from the movie The Secret. Bob challenged me to be grateful and find gratitude in every situation, no matter where I was in life. 


You may not have the house you desire, the car, the job, or the relationship you desire. However, if you cannot find gratitude, and be grateful for what you have at this moment, even if it’s ultimately not what you want, you are coming from lack and limitation and not allowing the good in. It’s by finding what is good about your current situation, and finding gratitude and the things to be grateful for that everything will shift.

I didn’t believe it when I first heard about gratitude. I didn’t understand how that could shift everything. When Bob gave me the assignment to write 25 things I was grateful for regarding the most difficult situation in my life, I actually laughed out loud. I said that will not happen. 

For over a decade I had committed anger, frustration, victimization, and just hatred, truly, truly hatred towards this person and the situation in my life. He said, just sit down and start writing. I said all right; I had committed to doing whatever he told me to do in order to get out of the dark place I was in. So I did what he told me to do. 

I thought to myself, I always liked her hands. I didn’t like that I liked her hands; I didn’t want to like anything about her. So I wrote #1 hands. Then I looked at other aspects of what was “good” instead of focusing on what was bad, negative, frustrating, hurtful, and just caused anger. It was in doing that very exercise the shift happened. It was instant, and it was amazing. 

Imagine yourself sitting at a table. We’ll say it’s a table for eight people. There are eight people sitting around the table, and you put the situation in the middle of the table. Every person sitting at the table is going to look at that very situation differently and have a different perspective. They bring their beliefs, paradigms, and habitual behaviors to the table. I found that so interesting. 

Then Bob said that we are all doing the very best we can with the tools, the information, the knowledge, and the resources we have at that moment in our lives.

That just struck me, and I was just like, wow, you know it’s so true. Everyone we come in contact with is fighting their own battle, doing the best they can at that moment in time.

You can’t be grateful and be angry at the same time. As soon as I quit trying to battle, fight, be angry, be mad, furious, and frustrated. As soon as I released the anger of what I perceived she did and continued to do to my family, everything shifted and changed. The battle was done; it became something that I chose not to engage in. I could decide what I was grateful for versus what I could be angry and upset about. 

Ask yourself the question I ask myself all the time when adversity comes into my life: Why is this happening for me vs. why is this happening to me? Hear that again, for me, not to me! Take a leader stance vs. a victim position on what is happening for you right now.

Again, you can’t be both grateful and angry at the same time. I even went so far down the road of gratitude I realized I would not have the life I had if she wasn’t a big part of it. You can really go down an amazing rabbit hole with gratitude if you choose to. 

Taking the perception of the table exercise and really looking at it. Know that everyone has their own point of view. And if you are stuck in low energy, in a vibration of yuck, pissed off, frustrated, all of that, if you sit there for too long, it truly is like you are drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Perhaps picking up a hot coal and throwing it at the other person and missing. You are only hurting yourself and you’re going to be the one that ultimately suffers. 

By shifting and choosing to find appreciation and gratitude in every situation, you can shift your thoughts and vibrations.

There are no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. And it’s part of your journey. So you might as well decide to find the good in each situation so that you can learn from it. You can choose to be grateful and see the good. 

In order to raise your own frequency and vibration, start with forgiveness. It’s really all for us. It has little to do with the other person. By forgiving and finding the good, you will raise your own vibration and be on a different frequency. 

I start every morning by writing 10 things I’m grateful for. There are no right or wrong answers. Just write 10 things down. After each one, ask yourself why. Why am I grateful for my cup of coffee? Why am I grateful for my partner? Why am I grateful the sun is out today? Feel into what you’re grateful for, and make an emotional connection. 

If you just write out words and make this an exercise to just get it done, to check it off your list, it will not mean the same, it will not feel the same. You want to have an emotional connection with what you’re grateful for. 

Once you’re done with that, the next step is to send love/positive energy to three people who are bothering you. Now, stick with me on this one. In the beginning, I didn’t understand. Why would I do that if they’re horrible, or they are mean or frustrating, or they really did me wrong? Why would I send love to someone like that? Again, it has everything to do with you, and truly, not much to do with them. 

When you send love and positive energy out to people who are bothering you, you set yourself in a different vibration, which will put you on a different frequency, which then attracts the same back to you. Good energy out, you get good energy back. Bad out, you get bad back. Like energy attracts like energy. So it’s in sending love to these people you are actually going to receive better in your life. 

We become what we think about. Our results are a direct reflection of our thoughts. So if you don’t like your results, what are you thinking? What are you saying, feeling, reinforcing all day long?

What are you sending out? What vibration are you on? I’m going to tell you right now if it’s negative, and if you’re sitting in the space of negativity, frustration, anger, hurt, and victimization, that is what you’re attracting to yourself. 

Gratitude is the key to everything. It starts with gratitude. It’s by being grateful and finding the good, whatever the situation is, find the good. The good is there. It’s sometimes harder to find, and it’s there. 

Imagine your thoughts are a boomerang. Whatever you put out is coming right back to you. So if you’re spewing out negativity, that’s what you’re gonna get back. 

I tell a lot of my clients that if you keep talking about being in debt, you’re going to attract more debt. So why don’t you set up a repayment program and focus on prosperity? Start thinking about where the money is coming from, and what you can do today, in this moment, to move the needle forward. If you think of prosperity, the way will be shown. 

I’m a product of the product and if I can do this, if I can set my big goal and meet it year after year after year after year, I’m here to tell you that you can too. It’s amazing when you decide to truly focus on your worthiness and how you are going to choose to show up differently. 

We have got to take care of ourselves and our thoughts. It starts with our thinking. If you can’t find the time or feel rushed in the morning, I’m challenging you to give yourself the gift of time and put yourself first. If that means getting up 20 minutes to an hour earlier, grabbing that cup of coffee, and finding a quiet spot to sit and do the gratitude exercise and read or do what you enjoy – DO IT! It makes a difference how you start your day. How you start your day is how you win your day!


Leave a Reply